

Dear Diary,
The most peculiar thing happened upon me today. I was watching dear Ruby, from afar, when I heard a loud knocking. To begin with I thought it may have been the casual labour the insurance company hired to rectify the wanton vandalism that occurred to Kilgrave Manor during my absence… but no! Instead, I find upon my doorstep the most peculiar creature. A woman dressed in black, cigar in hand and an automobile in tow. She declares herself to be a celebrated chef down from the smoke and looking to test her culinary skills on the good folk of the countryside. After checking her restaurant was indeed listed in the Gentlemans Guide to the London Lifestyle a deal was struck. And an oddity of a deal it was. Dear Diary, I have agreed to undertake that this woman – and in this case I use that word lightly – this woman will take on the role of cook and cleaner and stay at Kilgrave Manor free of charge – Gratis – on one condition. I don’t have to pay her a shilling so long as I agree to eat what she cooks for me. I hate the kitchen myself and rarely attend to anything grander than a poached egg so the arrival of this harpy is of great benefit to me… I hope.