Escargots is a dish consisting of cooked edible land snails. They are often served as an hors d’oeuvre and consumed by the French. In British English, the menu item is usually referred to simply as… snails.

Dear Diary, I return from my trip State side with a companion. A guest. Yes, she is a guest. My guest. Dear diary, you know what a fan I am of the Saturday morning serials? I love nothing more than venturing into Wych Ghyll first thing on a Saturday to line up outside the Realto – liquorice allsorts bulging under the rim of my hat – in order to witness “It came from the Swamp”, or “Gusty Dodger: Space Cadet” or “The monster in red”. Well, now I have my very own little monster in red: Ruby. The one and only. Star of the silent screen and siren of all things cinematic. Ruby is my guest! I had to cajoll her a little to join me from the States but she came! It took some persuading but, whilst on my travels to New York I happened to witness her discard what I thought was a prop. She threw something down a storm drain. However, upon closer inspection I was able to retrieve her discarded item – a very handy little… bargaining chip. I’m going to hold on to my little gift for as long as possible and in return Ruby is going to stay with me. Not forever I’m sure. But for the foreseeable future at least. Oh dear diary, The Scarlett starlet here in Kilgrave Manor! My very own muse. What a lucky chap I am to have found such a jewel.